Friday Philosophy – When Tech Fails to Deliver, is it Always a Problem?

I nipped out to the local supermarket this lunch time to get stuff. I use one of those self-use barcode scanners to log all the goods I put in my basket (apart from the bottle of whisky I was stealing). I then go to the payment machine, scan the “finish shopping” barcode and try to pay. I can’t pay.

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I can’t pay as I bought some paracetamol (note to US readers, you know it as (more...)

UKOUG Tech16 Day 0 – Car and Curry Chaos!

This year I decided to come to Birmingham a little early for UKOUG Tech16, coming up on the Saturday. I drove up to Lichfield (15 miles North of Brum – which explains the touch of Brummie in my accent) in the morning to see my mum. Once we had discussed her various ailments and prejudices for a few hours and I’d unblocked her vacuum cleaner I set off into Birmingham to get to Jury’s hotel (more...)

Friday Philosophy – Hello….?Dave?

In 2 days time the UKOUG Tech16 conference starts. I love this conference, I’ve been to all but 1 one of them in the last 15 years – but I am not going to go on about why I like it so much again.

Gratuitous Minion Picture

Gratuitous Minion Picture

I’m going to tell you one reason I don’t like it. Names! Names of people I know. Names of people I have known for years and who I’ve (more...)

Why oh Why Do Will Still Not Have a Fast Bulk “SQL*Unloader” Facility?

Way back in 2004 I was working at the UK side of the Human Genome project. We were creating a massive store of DNA sequences in an Oracle database (this was one of two world-wide available stores of this information, for free & open use by anyone {* see note!}). The database was, for back then, enormous at 5-6TB. And we knew it would approx double every 12 months (and it did, it was (more...)

Friday Philosophy – 3rd Normal Form, 3rd Normal People

I was at a wedding a few months ago and one of the guests was wearing a pair of bear ears (I think – they might have been raccoon ears, they were not exactly anatomically correct). What made it a little unusual was that the guest was an adult and something like 2 meters tall (6’4″ in real units). So they were rather noticeable. But that was it. No tail, no strange mannerisms, just being (more...)

Friday Philosophy – Your Experience can Keep You Ignorant

This week I was in an excellent presentation by Kerry Osborne about Outlines, SQL profiles, SQL patches and SQL Baselines. I’ve used three of those features in anger but when I looked at SQL Patches I just could not understand why you would use them – they looked to me like a very limited version of SQL Profiles.

There is a prize for spotting Kerry without a baseball cap

There is a prize for spotting Kerry without a baseball cap

So I asked Kerry about it (more...)

Top and Tailing Bulgaria.

Tomorrow I head off to Bulgaria for the BGOUG Autumn Conference 2016. I’ve only been to the Bulgarian user group once before, having heard from so many people what a fantastic user group conference it was – and they were right. Milena Gerova and her team do an amazing job of organising it and make everyone feel really welcome. So I am really looking forward to my return.

Bryn always gets a good crowd but this was typical for  Bulgaria (sorry it's blurry)

Bryn always gets a good crowd but (more...)

From Forms to DB v12.2 via Ask Tom, the Real World Performance Team, & The Optimizer Lady – UKOUG TECH16 next month

In just under 1 month the annual UKOUG conferences are happening – Tech16, Apps16 and JDE16

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All three run from Monday the 5th December through to Wednesday the 7th in the centre of Birmingham, at the International Conference Centre – and if you are registered for the main conference you can register for free for Super Sunday the day before the main conference kicks off. Places on Super Sunday are limited and are allocated on (more...)

Pint with Oracle User Group – First International POUG (Polish) Conference

Kamil kicks it all off: Apparently water has bacteria in it - so drink beer! (stolen from Pieter v.Puymbrooeck)

Kamil kicks it all off: Apparently water has bacteria in it – so drink beer
(stolen from Pieter v.Puymbrooeck)

Last week I enjoyed being at the first international conference that the resurrected Polish Oracle user group has put on. I say enjoyed – I actually mean really enjoyed! Why did I like the conference so much? Three major components came together.

(Before anyone rushes to mention the Polish custom of entertaining you with alcohol, (more...)

OTN Appreciation Day – Instrument Your Damned Code. Please!

Today is OTN Appreciation Day.

This day is the idea of Tim Hall, Mr OracleBase, and you can See his post here. The idea is that as a sign of appreciation to OTN we do a technical (or not so technical) post on a feature of Oracle we like. I’m going to visit an area I have mentioned before…

DBMS_APPLICATION_INFO.

In my opinion, one of the key differences between good code and poor code is (more...)